


emotions under pressure, wish you were here

by yehwellwhatever



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Drunk Luke, Emotional Hurt, Fights, M/M, Making Up, Modest Management - Freeform, Open Relationships, Sleepy Luke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 08:55:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17200469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yehwellwhatever/pseuds/yehwellwhatever
Summary: Luke only loved Michael after midnight. It was better than nothing. Until it wasn’t.





	emotions under pressure, wish you were here

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the 5SOS song “Midnight”. Title is from the same song.

“I don’t know if I can do this anymore.” 

Shattering glass echoed through the phone. 

Michael hesitated. He heard breathing. “Uhh, are you okay?” 

A suspicious sucking sound was followed by a soft “Fuck!” Luke wasn’t okay, then. “You’re doing this over the _phone_ , seriously?” Luke groaned. “Fucking hell, Mikey.”

“I just …” he hesitated again. “You’re never here unless it’s after midnight; when was I supposed to bring it up? After you’d fucked my brains out?” The words came out harsher than intended.

“How about …” Luke trailed off. Michael thought he heard a voice in the background. _Shocking_. “How about I come over and we can talk?” 

He sounded almost desperate, or maybe Michael was reading into things. Either way, he dismissed it. “Sounds like you’re busy. I have plans with Ash, anyway,” Michael said. “Maybe I’ll see you after midnight.” He hung up before Luke could respond.

***

Michael did get home way after midnight. He and Ashton had lost track of time, as usual. Neither thought they had anywhere to be, anyway.

Pushing the door open, he noticed a light in the depths of his apartment. He wasn’t alone, then. Michael kicked his shoes off and went to find the lightsource. Luke was sound asleep on his couch. A mostly-empty bottle of tequila dangled precariously in his fingers.

Michael grabbed it as it slipped. No tequila on that rug, thank you. Luke didn’t even stir. _Christ almighty_. 

“Hey, Luke. You gonna wake up, babe?” The endearment slipped easily over his tongue. Michael silently berated himself as Luke blinked his eyes open.

Luke groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “Time is it?”

“Way after midnight.” Michael rolled his eyes. “We should go to bed. Was that bottle full when you arrived?”

“Uh-huh.” Luke stumbled into Michael. He smelled like a distillery. 

“D’ya ‘ave a good night with _Ash_?” Luke slurred.

Michael took a second to decide how truthful he should be while guiding them to the bedroom. “We’re working on something.”

They reached the bed and Luke tumbled into it, face first. Twisting around he did a come-hither motion with his fingers. “C’mon.”

“Just gonna get you some water. You’re gonna have a banger of a headache in the morning.” Michael left without a look back. He needed a moment to himself.

***

When Michael returned with a glass of water and two aspirin, Luke had passed out on top of the covers, head buried in a pillow. He sighed and set the glass and pills on the bedside table.

While brushing his teeth, Michael tried to decide where to sleep. With Luke or in the guest room. Either option would make the morning awkward – provided Luke hadn’t disappeared. _Again_.

He went with the guest room: Luke was a restless drunk. One of them needed to be well-rested if they would have any kind of productive conversation – otherwise punches, or at least regretful words, might fly – and it was unlikely to be Luke. 

Thoughts of _wish you were here_ played on loop in Michael’s brain as he fell asleep.

***

Michael woke up, disoriented, as the front door closed. It took a moment before he recognized his own guest room. _Right, Luke_. He untwisted himself from the sheets and searched the apartment. So, Luke _had_ left without saying anything. It was far from the first time.

“Shit, dick, fuck, balls,” he swore, sitting down at the kitchen table. He’d expected it to be different this time. Apparently he was wrong. _Again_. They still weren’t on the same page. Michael feared this song and dance might break him. Thought he deserved to not be someone Luke only came to whenever there wasn’t anything better on offer. Maybe he should’ve taken the repeated advice and not started anything way back when.

Michael was so lost in his spiraling thoughts that he didn’t realize Luke was back until he stood beside him, hand on Michael’s shoulder. “You okay, Mikey?” He sounded concerned.

Michael blinked, trying to focus on Luke. He failed. “Uhh, yeah,” he said, confused. “You’re back?”

“I got breakfast.” He held up a white paper bag. “It’s breakfast tacos. Hope that’s okay?”

Michael nodded, somewhat shocked. Maybe he’d drawn premature conclusions. “Yeah, tacos are good.” Luke’s gaze made Michael uneasy for the first time since school. “You gonna sit down?”

Luke did, before handing the bag over. “So,” he started. When Michael looked at him, Luke was looking at his own hands, fiddling with the rings.

Michael wanted to say something. Anything. But he also wanted to wait Luke out, to hear what he had to say. It took long enough for Michael to get nervous.

“I’m sorry,” Luke said, finally looking at Michael. “I’ve treated you like shit. Taken you for granted and I’m so fucking sorry.”

Michael choked on his food. Luke’s eyes widened as he stood. “Fuck, you okay?” When Michael nodded through a cough, Luke handed him a takeaway cup with a straw.

“You got me summer tea,” he said, surprised, after he’d stopped coughing.

“Your favorite, isn’t it?” Luke shrugged and sat down. He seemed unbothered as he continued eating. 

“Didn’t think you paid attention,” Michael admitted.

Luke dropped his taco and grabbed Michael’s arm. “I pay attention. I notice things, Mikey. I _care about you_.”

“Funny way of showing it,” Michael said, just loud enough to be heard. He couldn’t help the bitterness. Luke couldn’t just waltz into his home with his favorite breakfast, say he was sorry and expect everything to be fine. They weren’t.

“I know. I know I fucked up. I owe you an explanation and so much more. So will you let me try?” Now he sounded insecure.

Michael nodded. “Go on.”

Luke’s eyes widened, mouth dropping. He didn’t say anything for a solid minute. Michael waited him out.

“I’m sorry.” Luke ran a hand through his curls.

“So you said. Why’d you do it?” Michael wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but he _needed_ to know. If nothing else then to move on. Maybe they could still salvage their friendship.

“Would you believe I got scared? You were out and people acted like they didn’t know and there’d been that thing with Harry, which nobody cared about, but I knew if people found out about us that would make it _real_ and it would affect the band and things were just taking off career wise and I couldn’t do that to either of you.” He took a deep breath, clearly not done.

“If it had been just me, things would’ve been different. I thought I was doing the right thing, us being casual, me keeping up appearance. I know I was wrong and I hurt you and I’m so fucking sorry, you’ll never know how sorry. I don’t know how to make things right or if it’s already too late, but I love you. I want to make this work, any way you’ll have me, and I’d really appreciate it if you stopped me rig—” Michael slapped a hand over Luke’s mouth.

“Wow, that was a lot.” Michael removed his hand.

Luke chuckled, sounding nervous. “So what I was trying to say is I’ve been scared since the beginning. I should’ve talked to you. Instead I treated you like a doormat. I’m so fucking sorry and I’ll do anything for your forgiveness.” He got up, rounding the table, tears in his eyes. “I fucking love you and I should’ve told you sooner.”

Michael breathed out as Luke cupped his cheeks. “I don’t know what to say,” he admitted, “to any of this.” His hands grabbed Luke’s. “I wanna forgive and forget but I need some time.” He kissed Luke’s palm as the other man’s breath hitched. “We’ll work on it. Maybe, first, we can talk to management about the PR dates?”

“Already taken care of,” Luke said. 

“Yeah?” Michael asked.

Luke smiled, hesitating. “Yeah.”

Michael surged forward and kissed him. It tasted like a promise of a new beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> Written to be exactly 1328 words to make my total word count on AO3 100.000 words.


End file.
